The Tuesday Twelve: Music Artists That Should Have Retired Tuesday, Nov 30 2010 

Brett Favre, man. This guy, once a storied “future Hall of Famer,” is now a cautionary tale of pathos and hubris. An individual less self aware could not be found outside of the Montag/Pratt household. Why play into your golden years? Why undo all the good memories of your prime play? Why not take the advice of Jerry Seinfeld and quit when on top?

But this isn’t about the crybaby quarterback. I know a bit about baseball and the 1984 Olympics, but other than that my sports knowledge is stereotypically girly. So take the Favre tale as a metaphor for a topic on which I have a better base of knowledge and a definite opinion — the world of music.

For every Favre or Steve Carlton or Michael Jordan that plays pro sports a little too long, there is a once-iconic rock and roller who loses luster by merely BEING SUCCESSFUL for too damn long. The whole Stones/Beatles debate is a tale for another time, but suffice to say the four lads from Liverpool are in PART “fab” because their time was so fleeting. 1970, they start to enter their 30s, and they’re done. No more new Beatles music. Nothing to kill the sweet taste left in everyone’s proverbial mouths by Abbey Road and SPLHCB.

Then there are Mick and Keith, still strutting around arenas and charging $300 a head despite the fact that all albums in “recent” years (i.e., since 1983) have been non-events at best and lambasted at worst. And in addition to the Stones, there are 11 other artists (and certainly more) that should have quit while they (or he/she) were/was ahead. (more…)

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The Day That Was … Surprising, But Not Monday, Jan 11 2010 

Mark McGwire - then and now

One of these things is wildly different from the other

Mark McGwire admitted to using steroids.  Now, this was not a shock.  I have the guy’s rookie card, and he looks about as stocky as Rivers Cuomo.  Dude got HUGE, and dude started hitting.  But he’s a nice guy, he’s my Redbirds’ new hitting coach, and he and Sammy Sosa helped breathe new life into the national pastime 12 (!) years ago.  All these asterisks in the record books, though.  Tsk tsk.

Michael Jackson’s death certificate was allegedly changed to list the cause of death as a homicide.  The King of Pop’s personal “physician,” Dr. Conrad Murray, secured legal representation last week.  Convenient.  Michael had his fair share of eccentricities, problems, and ailments, but the injections and prescription drugs didn’t help matters.

Simon Cowell has said this season of Idol will be his last.  Dammit, that may mean I have to watch.  Last season was the first time I sat on the sidelines, and this magical creature named Adam Lambert developed without my knowledge.  I dig Ellen, I’d like to catch Simon’s proverbial swan song, and I’m a card-carrying member of the Seacrest fan club, so looks like my Tuesday nights are spoken for.  Farewell, 180 hours in which I could be bettering myself.

Derek Jeter and Minka “Lyla Garrity” Kelly may or may not be getting married.  I’m just happy to see Friday Night Lights mentioned anywhere in the news.  Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose!

Spider-Man 4 rumors exclude Tobey and Raimi.  Remember how bad the fourth Batman was, before they re-booted everything with Bale? This is what I fear.  Paging Joel Schumacher!

100th episode of How I Met Your Mother? Only so-so.  Misuse of Rachel cute-as-a-button Bilson, that’s for sure.

In other news, I cooked collard greens tonight.  They didn’t taste nearly as good as when I order them out.  Probably because I sauteed in a tablespoon of garlic oil rather than a pound of ham fat.

xoxo,

Lucy Glib