The Tuesday Twelve: My Own Murtaugh List Tuesday, Dec 7 2010 

Hooray, the 90s party went off with nary a hitch.  Mr. Glib and I, six out-of-towners, and the city of Chicago at large seemed to survive our trip into a time of innocence and flannel. I had a great time staying up (way too) late, eating bad food, singing bad karaoke (what’s up, Destiny’s Child), and reflecting on the styling choices of one Brandon Walsh.  I was also, however, reminded of things left firmly in my own past.

Katy Perry, Ogden Nash, Jay-Z, and others may indeed be young forever, but I firmly accept that with age may not necessarily come better tastes or maturity, but will come a begrudging sense of responsibility that is supported by an enhanced desire for personal comfort and a decreased sense of patience.

On one legen…dary episode of How I Met Your Mother, the gang (who is incidentally supposed to be four years my junior) discussed their “Murtaugh List,” named after Danny Glover’s Lethal Weapon character who is prone to exclaim, “I’m getting too old for this sh*t.”  At 30, 35, and beyond, what have we outgrown?  For some of us (not me), it’s Taco Bell.  For others (also not me), it’s late bedtimes.  For me, it’s … well, these twelve things below, and a host of others.

12. Parties that include a keg of light/lite beer iced down in a bathtub. Even my youngster (25-ish) friends provide bottles and cans these days. We personally boast a kegerator, an unassuming refrigerated cabinet that houses two kegs of craft beers. Oh so classy.  And it doesn’t even need pumping.


11. Painful shoes when walking is on the agenda. I’ve invested in larger purses so that I can squirrel away tennis shoes or flip flops if I’m walking to a destination at which I’ll want heels.  I get there quicker and without blisters.  And who cares what I look like on the sidewalk outside, anyway?

10. NKOTBSB. Anyone – anyone! – in my high school graduating class knows how I loved the New Kids. I won’t get into how my obsession manifested itself. At 25 damn years old, I had a similar affection for the Backstreet Boys.  So you would think no one would be first in line for tickets to this nine-man monstrosity if not me. You would be wrong. I find the reunion touring a touch desperate, and while I applaud them for getting back out there to earn a living, they won’t be earning it from me.  Sorry, Joey Joe.  You’re still my favorite!

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The Tuesday Twelve: Worst Alcoholic Drinks Tuesday, Oct 12 2010 

So as I mentioned, we had a big family wedding over the weekend.  Weather was perfect, location was grand, and the bridesmaids’ dresses were actually flattering and fashionable (woo hoo!)  I’ve rarely seen a bigger party.  Part of this was due to the guests (service industry folks, the Glib family in general) but part of this was due to the alcohol that flowed.

Specifically, the shots that started hitting the fan in rapid succession after dinner was complete (per the sensible request of the happy couple).  Everyone’s shot of choice is the Grape Bomb – Red Bull mixed with grape-flavored vodka.  I am not a fan of this taste.  I feel it tastes slightly worse than Triaminic. But I’m a good sport, so I take a few a year as I’m forced.  Peer pressure is so cool!

With that lengthy introduction, I bring you the 12 worst alcoholic drinks. Correction: 12 worst drinks that I have personally tried (some on my 21st birthday).

12. Gorilla (a/k/a Gorilla Fart):  151 rum plus Jagermeister.  Equal parts.   Two wrongs don’t make a right.  If you mix two of the most disgusting products out there, guess what?  Still disgusting.

Gorilla

11. Candy Cane. Decent in concept, bad in execution.  4 oz Godiva liquor (white or dark), 4 oz Peppermint Schnapps, 4 oz vanilla vodka.  Problem: the Pepeprmint Schanpps is overpowering.  Additional powering: there is no mixer here, and one winds up drinking 12 ounces of alcohol.  If one has also eaten sushi that night, they will be revisiting little strips of sushi in the toilet later. Hypothetically speaking.  This one has promise but needs tweaking. 

Candy Cane (more…)

The Hangovers Sunday, Jan 10 2010 

Not actually me.

This is ridiculous.  Three drinks last night and I’m still fighting a headache.  AND I had water and food before retiring.  It’s a sad state of aged affairs when I am not drunk, not tipsy, not “buzzing,” and yet still fight the after-effects.  I think I’ve tracked the cause to mixing (hard liquor + wine + beer) but really, who doesn’t want a cocktail before dinner and wine during?

The wine was a warming and delightful red blend out of the Hood River Valley (Oregon) – the Mt. Defiance Wine Company of Phelps Creek Vineyards.  Majority Syrah, with Pinot Noir, Cabernet, and Merlot blended.  I’d gladly try it again once my head stops pounding.

And we enjoyed great food and service at Piazza Bella.  I opted for the farfalle.  Can’t wait to go back.

Waking up in the morning with my head on fire,

Lucy Glib