Conan still appears f*cked.  Rich and f*cked, but nonetheless.  Until FOX comes along (one hopes!)  NBC, I hope you are satisfied with yourself.  Even Emmy-queen Mariska Hargitay is annoyed with you.

Tiger is reportedly pulling a Duchovny and entering sex rehab.  Wow, how the mighty have fallen.  At least Dave has Californication to blame.

Pacey … I’m sorry, Peter Bishop … I mean, Joshua Jackson, continues to steal the hearts of millions with his sweet and seemingly sincere nature.  Diane Kruger has a fatwa on her head somewhere.

Jeff “Kinicki” Conway took a serious tumble and fears for his life.  Worse news?  Dr. Drew continues to “treat” him.  Worst news?  Jeff appears to still be with that codependent, marginally vampiric nightmare of a train wreck, Vikki.

And 2010 isn’t starting off great as far as the celebrity death toll is concerned.  Dennis Hopper, star of Easy Rider, Blue Velvet, Speed, and more (ahem … Super Mario Bros.) is battling late-stage prostate cancer.  And to ensure quality time with his children, he is divorcing his fifth wife.  Wait – what?

Idol is back tonight with auditions from Chicago.  Didn’t watch the Lambert-Allen-fest last year, but have to tune back in now that it’s Simon’s swan song.  So far from the first two nights, I’m digging Maddy (sweet 16-year old with the special-needs brothers), Jermaine (church-singing lad who cares for his sick Mom)  and Justin (Mormon cancer survivor).

xoxo,

Lucy Glib

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