Is it rude to be friendly? Thursday, Jan 28 2010 

Juliet, Naked - Nick Hornby

This book is not about nudity.

On the train home today, I noticed a fellow commuter was reading the same book as I.  I smiled to myself and buried my nose back in my copy.  After all … what is the point in saying something, really?  You chat with a stranger about whether or not you are enjoying the book or not, and your commute – which is sometimes only enjoyable because you get to get through many pages of said book – is interrupted.

A few months ago, I spotted a woman carrying a messenger bag from the same New York book store my tote bag was from.  “Nice bag,” I said, and strolled by, pointing at my own.  She looked at me as though I had scurvy, and then I had to up my walking pace to avoid having her think I wanted to engage in actual, you know, conversation. I mean … my iPod was on, people!

I live in a city of eight million plus and I find these shared-yet-anonymous affinities strangely charming, though I really have no desire to vocalize it, and clearly neither do many other folks.  But I know in certain smaller metro areas (New Orleans, for one, definitely), people chat about shared interests and bond over mutual hatred.  The most ordinary trip to the grocery store could yield a new friend over the mirlitons.

I’m not trying to make a big deal out of nothing, but I’m beginning to think we’re all a bit self-absorbed.  I guess once I stop noticing what others are even reading at all is when I need to really worry.

“Don’t talk to strangers,”

Lucy Glib

Day that Was … plagued by bad news on the aging celebrity front Tuesday, Jan 19 2010 

Conan still appears f*cked.  Rich and f*cked, but nonetheless.  Until FOX comes along (one hopes!)  NBC, I hope you are satisfied with yourself.  Even Emmy-queen Mariska Hargitay is annoyed with you.

Tiger is reportedly pulling a Duchovny and entering sex rehab.  Wow, how the mighty have fallen.  At least Dave has Californication to blame.

Pacey … I’m sorry, Peter Bishop … I mean, Joshua Jackson, continues to steal the hearts of millions with his sweet and seemingly sincere nature.  Diane Kruger has a fatwa on her head somewhere.

Jeff “Kinicki” Conway took a serious tumble and fears for his life.  Worse news?  Dr. Drew continues to “treat” him.  Worst news?  Jeff appears to still be with that codependent, marginally vampiric nightmare of a train wreck, Vikki.

And 2010 isn’t starting off great as far as the celebrity death toll is concerned.  Dennis Hopper, star of Easy Rider, Blue Velvet, Speed, and more (ahem … Super Mario Bros.) is battling late-stage prostate cancer.  And to ensure quality time with his children, he is divorcing his fifth wife.  Wait – what?

Idol is back tonight with auditions from Chicago.  Didn’t watch the Lambert-Allen-fest last year, but have to tune back in now that it’s Simon’s swan song.  So far from the first two nights, I’m digging Maddy (sweet 16-year old with the special-needs brothers), Jermaine (church-singing lad who cares for his sick Mom)  and Justin (Mormon cancer survivor).

xoxo,

Lucy Glib

Arrested for Jaywalkling? Thursday, Jan 14 2010 

I'm With CocoOkay, my two cents on NBC’s late night … situation, which the ‘sphere is calling anything from a “kerfuffle” to a “clusterf*ck.”  As of a few hours ago, it looks as though the standoff has ended, Jay Leno will reclaim his precious “legacy” that has Carson rolling around in his grave with anger matched only by George Harrison during Idol’s Beatles week, Fallon will keep on being relatively clever at 12:35 AM, and Conan will cart his sorry ass around Los Angeles, a city that has done him no favors, and to where he moved his entire life and staff, oh, SEVEN MONTHS AGO.

Ahem.  Who knows where the fault lies, but I happily blame Jay.  Let’s go back to 2004 (wow, I love Hot Fuss!).  Conan is sniffing around for new opportunities – he’s been the late-late guy, following Jay, for 11 years at that point.  Jay is talking about retiring, even though he still has the number-one show in late night (because the American public is largely stupid).  Like a desperate, nerdy boyfriend, NBC uses this info to keep Conan.  Dangles the majesty of The Tonight Show like a carrot.  He agrees to stay, under the agreement that he’ll host Tonight come 2009.

Fast forward … past Jay stealing Stuttering John in a most unprofessional manner.  Past Jay bragging about his “free comedy show” for the unemployed and depressed of Detroit but then hosting it at a venue in the affluent suburbs with no public transportation in from the city.  Past Jay still telling Lewinsky and Kaczynsky and O.J. and probably John Bobbitt jokes into the mid-aughts.  Jay doesn’t want to retire.  SOB!  He has too much funny in his head and has to share it with the people (I’ve been waiting to see some of this so-called “funny” for 20 years).  I actually read a god-damned quote where he said this, folks.

So Conan contractually still gets The Tonight Show but lo and behold!  Jay bum rushes him to create primetime Jay.  Still with the unfunny, but now up against CSI and other programs that people find actually entertaining rather than something to fall asleep to.  Conan has moved his entire life 3,000 miles but is right where he started – the late-late guy, behind Jay.  Hugs and kisses.

Jay debuts to much fanfare.  No one cares.  Conan debuts with little publicity.  Not many people care.  The Leno ratings become too pitiful for NBC to ignore.  Leno opponents squeal in delight – finally! – just desserts for the man who turned The Tonight Show into a steaming pile of derivative and safe sketches and interviews.  Annnnd … Jay gets canceled and summarily rewarded with The Tonight Show, back in his insidious and doughy little palm.  Conan and Andy get bent over the sink.

Yes, one argues, Conan’s ratings weren’t stellar.  And maybe that’s because his “young,” “irreverent” breed of humor doesn’t jive with Jay’s fans – who, BY THE WAY, weren’t watching his ass in primetime either.  Or maybe it’s because no one wants to watch two hours of talk shows a night.  The double billing split the audience for NBC talk, which is of course what many people expected it to do. Maybe even Jay Leno.

Obviously, I don’t know either of these men personally, but I do know the following.

Conan used to date Lisa Kudrow and got his start writing on The Simpsons. He has floppy hair.

Jay likes cars, has a wife named Mavis, wrote some stupid kids’ book, and has a pronounced chin.  He also – allegedly – hid in closets like a craven bitch when the whole Letterman/Leno/Carson circus was going on.  He also ripped off his “famous” Jaywalking bit from Howard Stern.  Also?  He is not funny. But right now, he’s the smug-ass winner and I wonder when and if karma will come calling.

Despite all my rage, I’m still just a rat and Conan’s unemployed,

Lucy Glib

The Day That Was … Surprising, But Not Monday, Jan 11 2010 

Mark McGwire - then and now

One of these things is wildly different from the other

Mark McGwire admitted to using steroids.  Now, this was not a shock.  I have the guy’s rookie card, and he looks about as stocky as Rivers Cuomo.  Dude got HUGE, and dude started hitting.  But he’s a nice guy, he’s my Redbirds’ new hitting coach, and he and Sammy Sosa helped breathe new life into the national pastime 12 (!) years ago.  All these asterisks in the record books, though.  Tsk tsk.

Michael Jackson’s death certificate was allegedly changed to list the cause of death as a homicide.  The King of Pop’s personal “physician,” Dr. Conrad Murray, secured legal representation last week.  Convenient.  Michael had his fair share of eccentricities, problems, and ailments, but the injections and prescription drugs didn’t help matters.

Simon Cowell has said this season of Idol will be his last.  Dammit, that may mean I have to watch.  Last season was the first time I sat on the sidelines, and this magical creature named Adam Lambert developed without my knowledge.  I dig Ellen, I’d like to catch Simon’s proverbial swan song, and I’m a card-carrying member of the Seacrest fan club, so looks like my Tuesday nights are spoken for.  Farewell, 180 hours in which I could be bettering myself.

Derek Jeter and Minka “Lyla Garrity” Kelly may or may not be getting married.  I’m just happy to see Friday Night Lights mentioned anywhere in the news.  Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose!

Spider-Man 4 rumors exclude Tobey and Raimi.  Remember how bad the fourth Batman was, before they re-booted everything with Bale? This is what I fear.  Paging Joel Schumacher!

100th episode of How I Met Your Mother? Only so-so.  Misuse of Rachel cute-as-a-button Bilson, that’s for sure.

In other news, I cooked collard greens tonight.  They didn’t taste nearly as good as when I order them out.  Probably because I sauteed in a tablespoon of garlic oil rather than a pound of ham fat.

xoxo,

Lucy Glib

The Hangovers Sunday, Jan 10 2010 

Not actually me.

This is ridiculous.  Three drinks last night and I’m still fighting a headache.  AND I had water and food before retiring.  It’s a sad state of aged affairs when I am not drunk, not tipsy, not “buzzing,” and yet still fight the after-effects.  I think I’ve tracked the cause to mixing (hard liquor + wine + beer) but really, who doesn’t want a cocktail before dinner and wine during?

The wine was a warming and delightful red blend out of the Hood River Valley (Oregon) – the Mt. Defiance Wine Company of Phelps Creek Vineyards.  Majority Syrah, with Pinot Noir, Cabernet, and Merlot blended.  I’d gladly try it again once my head stops pounding.

And we enjoyed great food and service at Piazza Bella.  I opted for the farfalle.  Can’t wait to go back.

Waking up in the morning with my head on fire,

Lucy Glib

At the Movies Saturday, Jan 9 2010 

Two sci-fi-heavy flicks in less than 24 hours.  Check the Nine Words or Less reviews for Star Trek and Avatar.

Avatar Poster

Photo Courtesy of James Whatley

Avatar, if I may say, was a bit preachy for my taste.  It had a bit of the Titanic “Capitalism … it’s bad” feel, with a nod to Native Americans, with a lot of creatures and impressive effects.  Not sure I’d see it again.  I will say my experience was lessened by the fact that I was sitting in a theater that was about 58 degrees next to a woman that kept sucking on her teeth and/or candy.  I got to one point, as I also did with District 9, that I felt like audibly saying, “We GET it, [James/Neill].  We are bad, thoughtless, heartless, corrupt, greedy people.  Can we get to the climax and resolution?”  It was a bit too on the nose, but then again, so was Titanic.  But this didn’t have Kate Winslet in beautiful dresses and Victor Garber acting stoic.

Also? Sam Worthington has the same acting flaw as Julian McMahon – inability to maintain an American accent for more than one sentence.  Distracting.  But a fun ride, and I’m glad we saw what the hype was all about.  Also glad we bucked up the extra cash for the 3D “experience.” Though $24 for a pair of matinee tickets?  Ouch.

And the previews reminded me that I fear I am tired of Tim Burton.  I appreciate that he has his own recognizable style and approach, but everything is so strikingly similar these days.  Johnny Depp is nutty!  Helena Bonham Carter is crazy!  Colors are vibrant!  Score is all kooky minor-key dissonance!  That said, his take on Alice in Wonderland should be interesting and entertaining.  I’d just like to see what he would do with a minimal budget and a subdued story.  Like Ed Wood, but with less maniacal Depp wandering around.

As Mr. Glib sits on the couch catching up on Dexter (thank God – have tried to keep him spoiler free for weeks now – I don’t watch, too depressing, but I read lots of Facebook updates), I defrost my bones and prepare for a nice evening at Piazza Bella.  Good Italian food, warming wine, and the company and comfort of old friends.  I’m thinking gnocchi or farfalle.  And now I’m thinking I need a snack.

Happy lazy weekend, folks.

xoxo,

Lucy Glib

Weekend To-Do List Friday, Jan 8 2010 

  1. Catch up on Sleep – capital S.
  2. Watch Star Trek on DVD
  3. Watch Avatar in 3D
  4. Remind self that I am not a sci-fi fan.
  5. Eat free Italian food.
  6. Drink free Italian wine.
  7. Laundry … perhaps.
  8. Call sisters-in-law, parents-in-law
  9. Snuggle with Mr. Glib

57 Channels and Nothing On,

Lucy Glib

Right. Friday, Jan 8 2010 

I have opinions on things, as does everyone.  Mine may or may not be more interesting than the average bear or great aunt.  When I have time and am not feeling lazy, I’ll post some of them here.

xoxo,

Lucy Glib